|Street Artist playing his homemade harp-like instrument.|
Just when Big J gave up on finding the rest of the group – this is a very big park, we just found out – we sat down at a quiet park bench and waited for him to come back with the car. Bless him for choosing to walk all the way back so we don’t have to. Little J says again “Worse day ever, Mom.” He’s really bummed out. The older kids were handling it better. We decided to open the Sour Gummies that was meant for Auntie B. Times like these, sugar helps.
I called Auntie B. They decided to just go home, too. As we were laughing about how they were “So near yet so far.” and making light of the gloomy moody situation of not finding each other (her and I see eye to eye when it comes to choosing to employ pollyanna tactics) she blurts out,
“Hey, Kat, I see you!”
“Turn around, right here across the street!”
I turn and see her waving! The brand new family of three, the reason for us making the long trek across town, were right there. We ran to them. Just like that, it all felt oh-so-worth it. Ha! Who knew that by sitting down on a quiet park bench, things you seek could come to you? 😉
I still wish I could have changed Big J’s mood. I wish I could make him see what I saw, make him feel what I felt, instead of the sapot mood he chose to be in. But that’s my lesson in all this. I can’t change others. I can only change myself. I know that in my head. But it doesn’t stop the feelings of frustration, OY! You bet I was feeling the sapot, too. And I was feeling blamey, deep down inside.
The car ride home was heavy, even lower than Low Park. Everyone was tired by now. And hungry. J and I had a quick exchange (read: argument) about how we were choosing to be. We left it hanging at “Let’s agree to disagree on this one.”
It was a quick Mc Do burgers for dinner for the kids.
The morning after, as I write this, I’m still feeling the tired, heavy feelings from last night’s lesson. Yet another lesson – soul instruction – that needs to be learned. Mine, simply, is this: I can choose where to look. I can choose how to be. I can be in High Park or I can stay at Low Park.
For now, I choose to look at this wonderful view before me. This is Big J carrying Little J.
And the longer I stare at this photo, the more things are settling back into its proper perspective…
I think I’ll make this my screensaver for today.
High Park, Low Park.
It’s My Choice Park.